Murnau am Staffelsee, 10.21pm. The last train gone. No taxis. No buses. Just tractors rumbling past and a black sky spitting lightning. That was my Euro 2024 in a nutshell.
German Efficiency? Meet 200,000 Jock Tamson’s Bairns
Everyone said Germany would run like clockwork. Deutsche Bahn laid on extra carriages, special fan trains, the lot. Then Scotland brought 200,000 fans in kilts and the whole system wobbled like a drunk on a unicycle.
I started in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Scotland’s base camp. Beautiful place. Alps everywhere. Media hotel lovely. Getting anywhere else? Pure torture.
Munich for the opener was easy – 90 minutes on a packed train full of singing Scots. Cologne for Switzerland? Nine hours if you were lucky. Stuttgart for Hungary? Book a flight or sell your soul for an ICE ticket.
The Night Bavaria Forgot Trains Existed
After watching Scotland draw with Switzerland in Cologne, three of us jumped on what we thought was the last connection south. Changed at Munich. Fine. Then the app said “Zug fällt aus”. Train cancelled. Next one? Tomorrow.
We ended up in Murnau, middle of nowhere, platform empty except for one German lad in a Portugal shirt eating currywurst. Taxi app? Zero cars. Bus stop? Last bus left in 1997.
Thunder cracked. Rain hammered down. Then headlights. A tractor pulled up. Farmer in a Bayern Munich cap leaned out.
“Garmisch?”
“Aye.”
“Hop in the trailer.”
So there we were – three soaked journalists sitting on hay bales next to a stunned cow, bouncing through the Bavarian night while the farmer blasted “No Scotland No Party” from his phone. I’ve covered war zones with less drama.
The Tartan Army Broke Germany – In The Best Way
Don’t let anyone tell you German trains were perfect. They tried. God, they tried. But when 50,000 Scots decide to go from Dortmund to Berlin in one afternoon, physics objects.
Top travel disasters I witnessed or heard first-hand:
– One supporter flew into Frankfurt Hahn thinking it was Frankfurt Airport. Ended up 120km away. Hitchhiked with a lorry driver who only spoke Turkish.
– A group from Aberdeen drove the whole way in a 30-year-old campervan. Broke down outside Stuttgart. German mechanics fixed it for free because “you came all this way for football”.
– Cologne station after the Switzerland game – absolute scenes. Platform 1 turned into one massive ceilidh. German police didn’t arrest anyone. They filmed it on their phones.
– My mate Keith Jackson missed the Hungary game because his train terminated in Bielefeld (population: confused). He watched it in a kebab shop with 40 Georgia fans.
The Numbers Were Mental
Here’s how ridiculous the logistics were:
| Journey | Distance | Normal Train Time | Euro 2024 Reality |
|---|---|---|---|
| Garmisch → Munich | 90km | 1h 20m | 3 hours (standing) |
| Munich → Cologne | 570km | 4h 30m | 9 hours or cancelled |
| Cologne → Stuttgart | 350km | 3 hours | 7 hours + 2 changes |
| Anywhere → Anywhere | Any | Scheduled | Whenever Allah wills it |
Scotland played three games in three different corners of the country. Journalists did 4,000 miles in 18 days. I lost count of the coffees and pretzels consumed just to stay alive.
Worth Every Missed Train
Yeah, we got humped 5-1 by Germany. Yeah, we went out early again. But I’ve never seen our fans prouder.
German locals keep messaging me saying their towns have never been the same since the Tartan Army arrived – in a good way. Cologne wants to twin with Glasgow. Munich bars still play Flower of Scotland on quiet nights. A farmer in Murnau apparently has a Scotland flag in his tractor cab now.
Football isn’t about the scoreline sometimes. It’s about bouncing along a mountain road in a thunderstorm with a cow for company, singing your heart out because tomorrow might be better.
Bring on USA 2026. Bigger country. Longer flights. Probably worse wi-fi. I honestly can’t wait.
Tell me your best (or worst) Euro 2024 travel story in the comments. The tractor guy needs competition.
